Lithium

This song is my ME in the 90s. Every time I hear it, the opening riff alone sends my gut in a whirlpool of emotions. It sends me back to the time when every meaningless/meaningful thing that happened to me affected me like being stabbed with a glowing hot knife – burning, searing, maddening- all the while pretending I-Don’t-Fucking-Care “I’m not gonna crack.” It was that time when I experienced a lot of things for the first time – first love/first heartbreak, first encounter with powerful women who would profoundly change my life forever, first kiss, first mind-blowing journeys into feminism and philosophy and literature ... Ahhhhh everything was just delicious and fresh and romantic and creative and yet also melancholic, rebellious, raw and wildly confusing. I loved madly and I hated intensely, and I was bouncing off walls “yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah.” My mind was a crazy mess full of Kierkegaard, Nietzsche, Kant, Simone de Beauvoir, Julia Kristeva, Luce Irigaray, Erica Jong ... until I finally found my home in Said, Spivak, Krishnamurti. “Light my candles, in a daze ‘Cause I’ve found God.” But my mind and emotions, at that point in my life, were like stereotypical binary opposites struggling for power (such is the case with every teenager riddled with both good intentions and raging hormones). “I love you I’m not gonna crack I killed you I’m not gonna crack.” ... Oh the 90s. Oh Kurt Cobain, one of my personal saviours. Oh how this song makes me so damn nostalgic, and at the same time so inflamed and provoked and insanely ALIVE.

I'm so horny, that's okay

My will is good



Yeah yeah yeah yeah
 yeah yeah
Yeah yeah yeah yeah
 yeah yeah

I like it I'm not gonna crack

I miss you I'm not gonna crack

I love you I'm not gonna crack

I killed you I'm not gonna crack

I like it I'm not gonna crack
I miss you I'm not gonna crack

I love you I'm not gonna crack

I killed you I'm not gonna crack



I'm so happy 'cause today

I found my friends

They're in my head

I'm so ugly, but that's okay

'Cause so are you

Broke our mirrors

Sunday morning is everyday

For all I care

And I'm not scared

Light my candles in a daze

'Cause I've found god



Yeah yeah yeah yeah
 yeah yeah

*In a parallel universe, that dude dancing in the middle, that’s me. *