For Ritchie

Today is Ritchie’s birthday. And for 21 days we will be the same age (not that it’s of any importance -- we just like teasing each other about it). We started out as, not even as “friends” but as concert and drinking buddies. I first met him outside of his high school alma mater, while we were both still in, well high school. It was just a brief hi, hello thing as I was then going out with one of his friends (and he with a batch mate of mine). The next time we met I was already in college and he and my best friend picked me up from school. The three of us then went to a mall to buy our Pearl Jam tickets. Outside of the Pearl Jam concert, we would see each other during drinking sessions. We were not friends yet, just people who drank with a bunch of other people, did crazy stuff, said “fuck you” and “ t*ng *na ka” to each other a lot. Those expletives were not out of anger of course, they were just a part of the normal rowdy conversations we often have with our friends and drinking buddies. My best friend then went to the US and my drinking session with him and our drinking “group” stopped. When my best friend came back home for a visit, the said group of course started seeing each other again. And that was when we all started to become good friends. Even after my best friend left, we all made it a point to see each other every once in a while not just to drink but to do other normal stuff like watch movies, eat dinner, go on out-of-town trips. Ritchie also introduced me to mountain climbing. He also helped me with a lot of other stuff like go to the mall to buy my first modem, my first hiking shoes, my first hiking bag etc. I started falling for him when he started calling me not just every night but sometimes twice or thrice a day, just to say things like “hey we should try rock-climbing” or “hey we should watch this or that.” Four things really cemented the “made-for-each-other” realization that we had – our love for adventure, for nature, for movies, and our love for music. We would talk endlessly over the phone about these things. He would make me listen to his favorite music and vice versa. We both listened and shared, and I found myself really falling for this guy. We “admitted” our feelings for each other while we were in Batad. A beautiful place, a seemingly magical time, but it was all real and amazing. One of the most unforgettable moments of my life. (Cheesy quota achieved?) I don’t really like sharing the music that means most to us as a couple because for me the strongest feelings are private. But since I know very few people read my blog (and thank you whoever you are reading this right now) let’s rock n’ roll – here are OUR top 15 songs or albums as a couple. Para sa aking kakampi, kadamay, mahal.

1) China Eyes - Alamid. When we were still just friends, during an exchange gift for Christmas, I had the fortune/misfortune of being Ritchie's "baby." He placed his gift for me inside a very big box and labeled it "To my China Eyes." During that time, everybody would tease me about my big eyes and they used to call me either "flashlight" or "bright". So him calling me China Eyes was him just being ironic and well, annoying. To top it off, the box was filled with crumpled newspaper. I failed to notice his very small gift, a moon and star pendant (again the moon because of my eyes and the star because of my surname) and ended up accidentally discarding his gift with the other crumpled paper. We spent half the night looking for that pendant. Anyway, I love this song. I miss Alamid.




2) Magandang Bituin/Maalaala Mo Kaya taken from Magandang Bituin CD - New Expressions In Filipino Music - Musical Concepts By Richard Tann. This was one of those CDs of Ritchie’s that I never thought he actually owned, and that I never thought I’d actually like as well. He made me listen to this while we were still just “friends” and listening to a different version of Kundiman songs was really so refreshing. It made me discover a whole new aspect of Ritchie and gave birth to a new facet of mine as well: one that was more open, more fearless when it comes to listening to music. That scene in Ang Nawawala where Gibson and Enid listened to Kundiman music while inside a vinyl store and while they were making “momol” inside the car really reminded me of that time Ritchie first made me listen to Magandang Bituin.

3) Friend of Mine, Odette Quesada. No explanation required right?

4) Tunay Na Ligaya, Basil Valdez. Again, when we were just friends, Ritchie and another good friend of ours went to Bataan with my family and me. We spent one night camped out on a beach and another night just drinking outside of my Tita’s house, under the stars. The three of us started talking about how nice it would be to have only Tagalog songs during one’s wedding and we started throwing in song titles that would be good for a bridal march, first dance etc. This was one of the songs that were thrown in. Years later Ritchie would admit to me that this was one of his songs for me. (Yup, way over the cheese quota I know, sorry)

5) Come Away With Me – Norah Jones. The first album of Norah Jones was also the first album that Ritchie and I bought and really loved as a couple.



6) The Wedding Singer Soundtrack - Various Artists. We both loved the movie and the music in the movie so for our first Valentine's Day together (1999), I gave him the soundtrack (two cassette tapes, yes TAPES!)

Track listing first album:

1. "Video Killed the Radio Star" (originally performed by The Buggles), performed by The Presidents of the United States of America
2. "Do You Really Want to Hurt Me", performed by Culture Club
3. "Every Little Thing She Does Is Magic", performed by The Police
4. "How Soon Is Now?", performed by The Smiths
5. "Love My Way", performed by The Psychedelic Furs
6. "Hold Me Now", performed by Thompson Twins
7. "Everyday I Write the Book", performed by Elvis Costello
8. "White Wedding", performed by Billy Idol
9. "China Girl", performed by David Bowie
10. "Blue Monday", performed by New Order
11. "Pass the Dutchie", performed by Musical Youth
12. "Have You Written Anything Lately?"
13. "Somebody Kill Me", written by Adam Sandler and Tim Herlihy, performed by Adam Sandler
14. "Rapper's Delight" (medley), performed by Sugarhill Gang and Ellen Dow

Track listing second album:

1. "Too Shy", performed by Kajagoogoo
2. "It's All I Can Do", performed by The Cars
3. "True", performed by Spandau Ballet
4. "Space Age Love Song", performed by A Flock of Seagulls
5. "Private Idaho", performed by The B-52's
6. "Money (That's What I Want)", performed by Flying Lizards
7. "You Spin Me Round (Like a Record)", performed by Dead or Alive
8. "Just Can't Get Enough", performed by Depeche Mode
9. "Love Stinks", performed by The J. Geils Band
10. "You Make My Dreams", performed by Hall & Oates
11. "Holiday", performed by Madonna
12. "Grow Old With You", written by Adam Sandler and Tim Herlihy, performed by Adam Sandler

7) Nine Million Bicycles - Katie Melua. There are nine million bicycles in Beijing That's a Fact, it's a thing we can't deny Like the fact that I will love you till I die



8) Drive - Incubus. Not really a love song but we would always play this during long drives, and we would always shout out the chorus: Whatever tomorrow brings I'll be there with open arms and open eyes yeah.



9) Danny's Song - Loggins and Messina. Ritchie and I have been through all kinds of shit and well, most of the time, we are driven down the financial pits of hell. So yes, the chorus really makes our heart swell and our eyes water.



10) Three Little Birds (Everything's gonna be alright) - Bob Marley and the Wailers.



11) Elevation - U2. High, higher than the sun You shoot me from a gun I need you to elevate me here At the corner of your lips As the orbit of your hips Eclipse, you elevate my soul ... I and I in the sky You make me feel like I can fly So high, elevation Love, lift me up out of these blues Won't you tell me something true? I believe in you



12) Tender - Blur. This is not really a happy song when you decipher the lyrics but just the same, this is our make-up song after a terrible fight. We love this song so much we always fall silent out of awe every time we hear it. Tender is the night Lying by your side Tender is the touch Of someone that you love too much Tender is the day The demons go away Lord I need to find Someone who can heal my mind



13) At My Most Beautiful - R.E.M. Another one of those songs that makes us go hush and makes our hearts fly. Beautiful beautiful song. I read bad poetry into your machine I save your messages just to hear your voice You always listen carefully to awkward rhymes. you always say your name. like I wouldn't know it's you, at your most beautiful.



14) Down By The Water - The Drums. MY PROMISE TO RITCHIE. if you fall asleep down by the water, baby i'll carry you, all the way home, you've gotta believe me when i say, when i say the word forever, and whatever comes your way oh we'll still be together



15) Praise You - Fat Boy Slim.

We've come a long long way together,

Through the hard times and the good,

I have to celebrate you baby,

I have to praise you like I should

Happy birthday LOVE!

The Cynthia Alexander Send Off Series, Conspiracy, 16 June 2012

In hindsight

I went to this gig expecting a more intimate set compared to the one in 19 East. When we got to Conspiracy at about 10pm, the place was already jampacked.  We tried to “swim” our way inside the music room and because I was with two tall big guys (they’ll kill me if ever they find out I called them big) we managed to squeeze in and ended up right outside the comfort rooms.  Since I’m in the “small lady” department I really couldn’t see what was happening on stage.  Aside from the backs of the people in front of me, the doors of the comfort rooms, the ceiling, this light was the only other thing I can see.

After a couple of minutes of trying to squeeze here and there to give way to the people going inside the comfort rooms, I gave up and just decided to meet one of our friends outside.  While I was talking with said friend of ours, I saw my boyfriend waving at us and motioning us to follow him.  Lo and behold, they were able to get chairs in a little corner outside the main entrance and beside the window of the stage.  Sweet spot!  I almost jumped and cart wheeled for joy.  After a few minutes, the window was opened so that the people outside the music room can hear and see what was happening inside.  Hallelujah!  And us outside, even though we all knew Cynthia’s back would be most of the time what we will be seeing, couldn’t ask for more.  I bet all of us felt the same way:  that just to be able to see and hear Cynthia Alexander is the greatest gift the universe can give us at that precise moment. At around 11:45pm, the show began.  Once again, I was enthralled.  Cynthia’s music never fails to grab a hold of me and render me spellbound. 

The Musical Celebration, Conspiracy, 16 June 2012

Set List:

Walk down the road

Wait

U & I

Motorbykle

The Weather Report

Daisy Chain

Knowing There Is Only Now

Insomnia

Hello Baby

Blackbird

Dumaan Ako – Joey Ayala joined Cynthia for this song.  He actually just climbed over the window since it’s easier and more convenient.  Such a tender beautiful moment.  Cynthia actually teared up right after their duet.  A quick background about the song, this is originally a poem, “Berso # 2” written by Maningning Miclat, set to music by Joey Ayala.

Intertwyne – a dance accompanied this song.  The poetry of the lyrics combined with the fluidity and grace of the “dancer” resulted in a moment both raw and surreal.  I felt a tightness in the throat and a leaping of the heart when the song ended.  (I think the “dancer” was Nerissa Del Carmen Guevara, herself a poet.)

No Umbrella

Malaya – I just love how Cynthia’s voice always soars when she sings this song.  Combine this with the music accompaniment of Mlou Matute, Cj Wasu and Jonathan Zuniga Urbano, the experience is always stellar.

Owner of the Sky

Comfort In Your Strangeness

Kabaka

Empty-handed – Kabaka was supposed to be Cynthia’s last song, but Vin Dancel of Peryodiko and Twisted Halo requested for this song.  Others followed suit.  He ended up singing the first part, and Jonathan Zuniga Urbano the second part.  Of course, Cynthia finished the song. 

And just like that, another night of Cynthia Alexander’s awe-inspiring wondrous music was over.  And just like any other of her shows, one is always left with a lushness of spirit and a spring of joy in the heart.  Once again, thank you Cynthia.  The extraordinary light you bring will never go out.  


Kaya kong maghintay sa mga tula mo
makinig sa awit mula sa kabilang dako
At sa paglalakad sa lilim ng mga puno
matutuklasan ang laman ng pusong malayo
(Berso #2 / Dumaan Ako, Maningning Miclat)


Click this link to read about The Cynthia Alexander Send Off Series at 19 East

Here are some of the pictures I took.  (I will upload the videos soon)

I know you can't see his face, but this is Coy Placido of Top Junk and husband of Tuesday Vargas

Tuesday Vargas, actress/vocalist of Top Junk and wife of Coy Placido, enjoying the gig from the side of the stage.  She actually also just climbed up the window (like Joey Ayala) to get to her place here.

We were also treated to Joey Ayala's humor.  

Vin Dancel singing the first part of Empty-handed

Tuesday Vargas "modeling" the plate number of a car that needs to be moved.  Every time she would do this, Cynthia Alexander would introduce her as "Anne Curtis".  Some of the light-hearted moments of the gig.

Cynthia getting ready to sign CDs and have a picture taking with her loyal fans.

Cynthia Alexander with Vin Dancel and friends

My friends and I with TuesdayVargas

A tender brother-sister moment

My friends and I with Cynthia Alexander and Joey Ayala

The Cynthia Alexander Send off Series, 19 East, 15 June 2012

The Cynthia Alexander Send off Series: Poetry and Music

We are nothing / We are nothing but / The dust on Your feet / Dying to be born again / Singing Ether Water Fire singing Earth Singing Air / I have seen / I have been / To places far and deep in my mind / Only to find / Comfort in Your Strangeness

My first encounter with Cynthia Alexander was with the song “Comfort In Your Strangeness”.  I heard it being played over the radio, by the old NU107.  What made me pay attention was the poetry of the lyrics and what I thought it meant – a love so different, it was comforting.  A love that defies stereotypes.  A love that can be rendered powerful/powerless by the elements, with hopes of re-birth – a love rising, a love coming home.  I was blown away.  Add the enchanting voice so delightful and pleasing it’s like wooden chimes, silver sparkle, crisp crystal and euphoric bird song after a refreshing rain.  That was 1998.  (Comfort In Your Strangeness is included in Cynthia’s first album Insomnia and Other Lullabyes, released in 1997).  After 14 years of continually falling in love with her and collecting all 4 of her albums, Cynthia Alexander, one of our greatest singer/songwriters, is packing her bags and moving to Seattle.  Such a sad moment for us who will be left behind, and an exciting new adventure for her. 

Last Friday night, I went to one of her send-off gigs.  

What happened was not a heavyhearted “farewell” concert.  Instead, we were treated to a celebration of Cynthia Alexander’s beautiful voice, one that soars and takes wing with a full band, and one that soothes and calms accompanied with just her guitar.  We were treated to a night full of her quiet presence and the high-spirited luminous quality of her music.  There was an air of melancholy, sure, as there is that fact that we might not be blessed with her presence for a long time. The pervading atmosphere however, was still that of love, love for music and love for life; an atmosphere of freedom – the unlimited vistas music allows us to fly; an atmosphere suffused with exhilaration, revelry and joyous praise to the great talent of Cynthia Alexander. 

Thank you Cynthia, for the gift of your music.  We wish you new happy musical explorations and loads of blessed adventures.

The Musical Celebration

I sadly did not get to see the entire set of Human Folk, Cynthia’s band with jazz guitarist Johnny Alegre, Abby Clutario of Fuseboxx, bassist Yuna Beck Arreuger, Zach Lucero of Radio Republic/Imago, and Gabrielle Mendez.  When I got to 19 East they were about to finish their set. 

After Human Folk, there was kind of a long break and after a while people started to get restless, clapping and requesting for the show to start.  Cynthia started her set with Wait, the song she says she wrote on a milk can.  She also shared a story during that time when people were comparing her to Alanis Morrisette and asking her to sing more “Alanis” type of songs.  It was a light moment of candid sharing and we all gamely laughed with her.  Cynthia opened with a full band composed of “rock stars” as she said in playful banter with her co-musicians for that night: longtime stage compatriots Mlou Matute and Cj Wasu, and guest band mates Jonathan Zuniga Urbano, Louie Talan, Romel Sanchez, Kakoy Legaspi and Zach Lucero.  The sound system and lighting design of 19 East is top notch so just imagine how mind blowing and fantastic the show was when you combine all the elements at play that night.  I’m so blessed to have been there.  Cynthia's last song for that night was Comfort in Your Strangeness.  It was such a touching beautiful moment when everybody sang most of the song for her.  Louie Talan actually put down his guitar to video what was happening.  This was our salute to Cynthia, to the extraordinary light she envelopes people with, to the generosity and bravery of her spirit, to her incomparable place in our music history.  No one can ever take her place.  To borrow a term I learned from the recent impeachment, she is one of the few people who are truly sui generis: unique in and of itself, constituting a class of her own.  After the song, we all stood up to give praise and honor her.  A standing ovation is not enough to give thanks to someone like Cynthia Alexander, but at that moment, it was the only way we could show her our love and gratitude.  Bravo, Cynthia, bravo.  

Set List 15 June 2012 Cynthia Alexander at 19 East

(or what I can remember anyway, corrections are welcome)

1^st set

Wait

Walk down the road

U & I

Heya

Weather Report

Daisy Chain

Intertwyne

Knowing There is only Now

Dumaan Ako

Motorbykle

 2^nd set

Insomnia

Hello Baby

Kabaka

Blackbird

Init ng Halik

Kawikaan

Owner of the Sky

No Umbrella

Malaya

Empty-handed

Comfort In Your Strangeness

Bakit ba may inaasam / tayong ayaw maganap / pagkat ngayon ay mayroong / bukas natin ang handog / Hanggang kaya mong gumising / at kaya kong managinip / kaya nating pag-isahin / ang darating at aalis -- Kabaka, poem by Vim Nadera, set to music and sang by Cynthia Alexander

To hear more of Cynthia Alexander's music, please click on the following links:

http://www.reverbnation.com/cynthialexander

http://www.pelicola.tv/channels/index_ca.asp

Click on this link to read about The Cynthia Alexander Send Off Series at Conspiracy, 16 June 2012

P.S

I hope this awakens all of us to the wealth of talent we have RIGHT HERE, right now.  Support OPM. Go see, buy, recognize, applaud and celebrate our local artists.

Pirate's Life - We Cut Corners

We Cut Corners "Pirate's Life" from Kijek / Adamski on Vimeo.



This song got to me. Really hit me. This is my weeping-song, my frack-you song, my i-wanna-be-far-and-away song. Plus the art work. Mind-blowing. Heart-crunching. It's all sad and beautiful and a bit remorseful but really unapologetic, I just wanna sit in a corner, cry one last time, then just walk out and leave, be gone for a long looooong time. Be a nameless "pirate." Freedom in anonymity. Freedom in swimming the fickle tides of my vast sea of discontent.


"you live by the sword and you’re hit by a bus
you live by the river and drown in the sea
it's a pirate's life for me"

Beautiful Women

The song:

What the Water Gave Me - Florence + The Machine


The Singer:

Florence Welch

The woman that inspired the song:

Virginia Woolf

The painting that inspired the title:

What the Water Gave Me, Frida Kahlo, 1938, Oil on Canvas

The Painter:

Frida Kahlo, Self Portrait

Excerpts from Killing Yourself to Live by Chuck Klosterman

WoohooS & BoohooS

Morrissey is coming.  Here.  In the Philippines.  Morrissey, who in MY list of my favorite, greatest most iconic male lead vocalists, is up there with Kurt Cobain (Nirvana), Michael Stipe (REM), Thom Yorke (Radiohead), Robert Plant (Led Zeppelin), John Lennon (Beatles), Roger Daltrey & Pete Townshend (The Who), Jim Morrisson (The Doors), Bradley Nowell (Sublime), Mick Jagger (Rolling Stones), Axl Rose (Guns n' Roses), Steven Tyler (Aerosmith), Joe Strummer (The Clash), Ian Curtis (Joy Division), David Byrne (Talking Heads) and of course Bob Marley (Bob Marley & The Wailers).  There are a lot of others who are of course equally great but for me, these guys are the lead rocketships that propelled everyone into space, the Vostok 1, the Yuri GagarinS of music, elevating their genre into mind-blowing, out-of-this world greatness.  And Morrissey, lead vocals of my most favorite 80's band The Smiths, is coming to town.  And all I can say is ... %$#@!  Because I might not be able to watch him.  Out of all the other shows I've already missed (Whitest Boy Alive, Incubus, Death Cab for Cutie, and tonight, Toe), this will prove to be the most heartbreaking of them all.  Dolores (Cranberries) is coming also, might be as heartbreaking but my love for Ms. O' Riordan merits another post, hailing other female lead vocalists as well.  Oh boohoo how this blows. One of those rare times I really wish I chose the path more travelled, where a steady income is available twice a month ... "I was looking for a job, and then I found a job, and heaven knows I'm miserable now. In my life, why do I give valuable time, to people who don't care if I live or die?"

She Just Wants To Be ...

These past few months I've been dedicating songs to other people, through text or a call or a facebook note. Today I'm going to be selfish and dedicate a song to ME.

She Just Wants To Be - R.E.M

It's not that she walked away,
her world got smaller.
All the usual places, the same destinations,
only something's changed.

It's not that she wasn't rewarded
with pomegranate afternoons
and Mingus, Chet Baker and chess.

It's not the stampede and fortune
of prim affectations
she's off on her own and she knows now
it's greater than the whole
of the past
it's greater
and now she knows.

She just wants to be somewhere
she just wants to be.
She just wants to be somewhere
she just wants to be.

It's not that the transparency
of her earlier incarnations
now looked back on, weren't rich
and loaded
with beautiful vulnerability
and now she knows.

Now is greater
and she knows that.

She just wants to be somewhere
she just wants to be.
She just wants to be somewhere
she just wants to be.

Now is greater
now is greater
and she knows that

She just wants to be somewhere
she just wants to be.
She just wants to be somewhere
she just wants to be.

It's not like if angels
could truly look down
stir up the trappings
and light on the ground.
Remind us of what, when,
why or who?
The how's up to us, me and you
and now is greater than the whole
of the past
is greater and now she knows that.

Now she knows.

Lithium

This song is my ME in the 90s. Every time I hear it, the opening riff alone sends my gut in a whirlpool of emotions. It sends me back to the time when every meaningless/meaningful thing that happened to me affected me like being stabbed with a glowing hot knife – burning, searing, maddening- all the while pretending I-Don’t-Fucking-Care “I’m not gonna crack.” It was that time when I experienced a lot of things for the first time – first love/first heartbreak, first encounter with powerful women who would profoundly change my life forever, first kiss, first mind-blowing journeys into feminism and philosophy and literature ... Ahhhhh everything was just delicious and fresh and romantic and creative and yet also melancholic, rebellious, raw and wildly confusing. I loved madly and I hated intensely, and I was bouncing off walls “yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah.” My mind was a crazy mess full of Kierkegaard, Nietzsche, Kant, Simone de Beauvoir, Julia Kristeva, Luce Irigaray, Erica Jong ... until I finally found my home in Said, Spivak, Krishnamurti. “Light my candles, in a daze ‘Cause I’ve found God.” But my mind and emotions, at that point in my life, were like stereotypical binary opposites struggling for power (such is the case with every teenager riddled with both good intentions and raging hormones). “I love you I’m not gonna crack I killed you I’m not gonna crack.” ... Oh the 90s. Oh Kurt Cobain, one of my personal saviours. Oh how this song makes me so damn nostalgic, and at the same time so inflamed and provoked and insanely ALIVE.

I'm so horny, that's okay

My will is good



Yeah yeah yeah yeah
 yeah yeah
Yeah yeah yeah yeah
 yeah yeah

I like it I'm not gonna crack

I miss you I'm not gonna crack

I love you I'm not gonna crack

I killed you I'm not gonna crack

I like it I'm not gonna crack
I miss you I'm not gonna crack

I love you I'm not gonna crack

I killed you I'm not gonna crack



I'm so happy 'cause today

I found my friends

They're in my head

I'm so ugly, but that's okay

'Cause so are you

Broke our mirrors

Sunday morning is everyday

For all I care

And I'm not scared

Light my candles in a daze

'Cause I've found god



Yeah yeah yeah yeah
 yeah yeah

*In a parallel universe, that dude dancing in the middle, that’s me. *